Healing of a Broken Heart: Honoring My Mother on Her Earth Birthday

Missing her… the words do not describe the depth of how it has been not having my mother here with me. I felt as though we were a team in the Kingdom of God and and on behalf of our family. We had a very special relationship (which I am sure each one of her children felt because she had that way of spoiling each one of us). We were best friends with supernatural kindred spirits even though she was my loving, caring, and always there for me, Mom!

Her wisdom, advice, perspective, humor, her prayer… oh, her prayer, and willingness to listen to me and so many others, was amazing! She was “home!” Wherever she was, was home! So when she left, the sense of displacement came.

Where do I live now? Where do I turn now? Who do I trust with concerns and prayers now? Who will love me, care for me, and support me like she did… with the mutuality in trust, sharing ourselves, in battling for Kingdom concerns and our family?

That was almost 8 years ago. Over time God has indeed been healing my broken heart, through prayer and choosing to listen to Him through His Word and by His Holy Spirit. The loss of her presence here came behind the very recent losses of my baby sister, younger brother, and BFF aunt… just within 5 months.

So the pain was greater and more devastating then natural words can ever describe. The pain was deep! And, because of our kindred spirits, as she lie on her deathbed, my heart cried for her pain in recently losing her baby daughter, her son (the 2nd son to die), her baby sister and a dear friend just months earlier, along with the physical pain of cancer that was declining her body, and the helplessness that she must have been feeling because her faith filled prayers were not healing herself or giving her assurance of staying here to fulfill the dreams and visions in her own heart as well as those of her children, grandchildren, spiritual children, nieces and nephews and siblings still living!

Yes, He has indeed been healing my heart and blessing me! So at year 8 of my Mom, my friend, my sister in Christ not being here , I can proclaim that I am freer, full of more joy in the Lord, more willing to follow God’s reason for me still being here on this earth (regardless of how I feel, what I think, or whether I know or understand what the future holds… the near future or months and years to come)!

My relationship with God and depth of revelation in The Word (Jesus Christ is the Word, John 1) has increased and continues to be fresh because of the healing that only Jesus Christ, The Healer, has brought me / bought for me, and daily continues to bring! And, to God be the glory!

So today, February 12th 2022, I can declare to you that the broken heart that I have endured is at a more faith filled, hopeful, and realistic place than ever and I am moving forward (theme of Mom’s homegoing celebration) by the continual filling and leading of the Holy Spirit! I hope that this blog in some way has encouraged you in your life and/or regarding your own sadness and grief!

Have a HAPPY VALENTINES DAY 

Prayers to Help You Have Healthy Grief

In my book, Prayers for Living: prayers to help you get through life, I wrote a few “grief” prayers. I have chosen two of them to share with you. It is of utmost importance to acknowledge our emotions and to give ourselves permission to grieve and to process grief understanding that it is God-given helping us to maintain emotional, mental, and spiritual balance… to be in good health, even as your soul prospers, as 3 John chapter 1 verse 2 in the Bible declares.

We are in a world where people are suffering tragedy or experiencing deaths in such a rapid succession that identifying emotions and processing them becomes a difficult task. Being intentional about grief and grieving will help you stay emotionally healthy. Each time you find yourself thinking about or emotionally responding to an incident that produces sympathy, sadness, anger, compassion, or empathy, it is important to verbally express your emotion. This gets it out of you and helps you to begin to process the impact that this incident has had upon you. It also keeps you from having a “pile up” of negative emotions that most often eventually come out in negative ways.

The first prayer is entitled Prayer for Pain, Grief and Suffering.

Oh Lord, my God! I yield my heart, my mind, my will and my emotions to You today! I yield my loved ones to You (name them, if you want). I yield everything that concerns me. It all belongs to You. You know the end to the beginning of everything! My life is in Your Hands! Please help me to trust You with my pain now and any future pain or suffering that might come my way. Help me to remember that Jesus said, “in this world you will have trouble, but that He overcame the world” for me! (John 16:33) Help me also to remember my own prayer that “I want to know You in the fellowship of sharing Your sufferings” (Phil 3:10) to be more like You (Rom 8:29. And lastly, 1 Peter 4:12-14 where You admonished me “not to be surprised by the fiery trials I’m am going through, but instead to rejoice because the Spirit of Glory and of God are resting on me.” Give me the emotional and mental capacity to handle this grief and the sufferings that living in this world brings. Protect my body from physical ailments due to stress and grieving. Help me to recognize and bring each incident of stress and grief to You, laying them at Your feet as many times as I need to for spiritual relief, and to keep me from yielding to my flesh – engaging in unwarranted anger or depression. Or, to giving into bitterness and an evil attitude or disposition. Help me to truly “come to know You” during my pain and suffering and help me to embrace Your Presence where there is fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11) and that You will never leave me, as You have promised. (Hebrews 13:5). Lord, I need You to help me walk out my faith in You. Not that I want to put on a false face before others or act as if nothing difficult has happened. Help me to be real in what I feel regardless of the religious clichés that others may bring understanding that they are only trying to help me.  And please Lord, help me to get through numbness to really feel so You can heal me. Help me to accept the pain and grief that my soul is experiencing, trusting You to help me walk through it in a healthy and Godly manner. Because of Your Grace…I choose to give You the sacrifice of praise (Hebrews 13:5) and wait on You for positive and Godly change, for spiritual depth and maturity to eventually become evident in me for all to see that they will glorify You! I ask for Your comfort and proclaim today that Your Joy Lord, is my strength even in my pain! In Jesus’ name. Amen

The second prayer is entitled: Prayer When in Grief.

Father God, I am so glad that I can call You Father and can lay on your lap and cry on your shoulder at this time of such deep sadness and grief. This pain that I feel that I can hardly bear is like the thick cloud of darkness mentioned in the Exodus plaques. Though it is so thick and hard to look in Your face, I choose to turn to You. Who else can I turn to or who else is there to fully understand my pain and to know how I feel how much I hurt inside? Who else can relate to my emotions that go from positive to negative within just a few minutes or hours without my say so? And, who else Lord, can carry me through this, day after day, with seemingly no relief but reminders of my loss and of having to adjust to a new day and a new way of life? Lord, I have never been this way before and I don’t know what to do! I don’t know how to really pray. I get upset with family and friends who expect me to already be okay. Who tell me that “this too shall pass” or that “it’s going to be okay” or that “God’s got this, so I can let it go!” Have they ever lost anything, do they really know what I’m going through? Lord, I know that they don’t mean me any harm and I know that they are trying their best to be a blessing and comfort to me, so help me to respond authentically and humbly. Help me to open my mouth and talk to You, to praise you anyway and to embrace this current station and space of time trusting You and Your Word, that joy does come in the morning as I keep my heart in You and focus on You. Heal my emotions Lord, and heal my mind helping me to take hold of the negative thoughts and demonic lies that come while I am in this vulnerable place. Help me not to be religious or pretend that I am okay because that is what is expected. Help me to cry when I need to and to allow for emotional release to get to a healthy place. I thank You Lord that You are My Healer, My Comforter, and My Very Present Help in this time of trouble! Forgive me of doubt or rejecting your love that comes through others. I choose to keep my trust in what only You can do for me no matter who You choose or use on my behalf. Help me to gain strength by seeking out Your Word. I thank You for helping me to process through this grief and removing the deep sadness that I feel. Thank You for giving me daily Hope and helping me to clearly see a bit Lighter each day until that day when I can look back and say, “look at what the Lord has done!” And Lord, let my life then and now be a comfort to someone else who has experienced loss and are in grief. Thank you, Lord for using me even as You are healing me! In Jesus’ Name. Amen

I hope that you will use these prayers as often as you need to and that they help you to be more real about how you feel. God hears our prayers and answers them! (see 1 John 5:14-15).

Many other prayers to help you get through life are in my Prayers for Living book as well as other books that I have written to enhance your life and relationships! Purchase a copy or two at: https://www.amazon.com/author/rozcaldwellstanley