Why Do We Call The Friday before Resurrection Sunday Good?

This was an awful day! A day filled with darkness and grim. A day where Jesus was battered and those who followed him, shattered in their souls. It was the day that culminated into the fullness of Jesus’ purpose for coming to earth. It wasn’t an easy day. As a hu-man, his body, soul and spirit were suffering beyond the natural ability to endure. But, He endured the physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual pain… all the way to His death on the Cross! 

He endured for you and me. To some it may seem like a fable, a fairytale, causing many to celebrate Easter bunny, Easter candy, Easter basket, Easter dress up, Easter egg hunt, Easter let’s go on a special outing, not really accepting or understanding the real meaning of the day. I’m not shouting anyone down who does this. I have done it all my life and made sure that my children had that basket, bunny, and egg hunt, if nothing else. But like much of America, at least in years past, Easter going to church was a big event along with after church dinner or outing. 

However, I also told them the real reason for the celebration; that it was all about Jesus and His death, burial, and resurrection, then going back to heaven to Father God to continually pray for you and me. There are more details to the story which would be good for you to read (John chapters 17-21 and Isaiah 53). But not just read. How about this year, take it in, meditate, put yourself in the story, and recognize why Jesus died and the significance of His resurrection. That He did it for you!!! Think about it, “in this world you will have trouble, but be of good cheer because He (Jesus) has overcome the world!” This is why such a sad day is an absolutely good day! 

He did this for you and me. Jesus’ death meant Him taking on the sins of the world, my sins and your sins and burying them that we all have the opportunity and ability to receive freedom from sinful living and join with Him by choosing to accept Him as your personal Savior (Rescuer) and Lord (the One Who Guides) over your life! He didn’t promise that all of life would be pretty but He did and does promise that He will never leave you or forsake you, He won’t leave you in a helpless condition. That in the jungle of life, that we often experience, He will be there to bring you besides the still waters to water your soul to empower you to make it through. That is if you choose to believe and let Him lead your life. 

GOOD FRIDAY IS A GOOD DAY! It opened the way to freedom and whom the Son sets free is free indeed! Freely enjoy the festivities but don’t give them more credit than the One who is the reason for the day. Celebrate Jesus, humbly thanking Him for making the Way for you to be rescued (saved) and accept it (accept Him) into your heart if you have not done so! And if you have, smile and be happy, you are free!!! 

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Tragedy and Tragic Loss: What to do when it comes near you

This is a repost blog as it still applies because of the tragic situations happening in our cities and world, and the continued need for relief:

Mass murder causing families and communities to unexpectedly be impacted by grief on a scale that is incomprehensible and can lead to anxiety, depression, post traumatic stress, or trigger physical, emotional or mental illnesses as well as relationship problems, has hit home. Literally, in the sense that this most recent killing of multiple people is very near where I live. 

Of course, when other communities suffered the effects of a mass shooting, like you, I experienced vicarious grief – a grief that comes because you can feel their pain on some level; you have empathy and compassion for those directly affected. As you see the media accounts of these incidences and listen to those whom barely survived and family members who have lost a loved one, you grieve with them. 

The closer to your city, neighborhood or home that these incidents happen, can cause a greater sense of anxiety, which is fear of what can happen to me or to my loved one, my friends or my coworkers, etc. 

This fear can begin to affect how you live daily along with your interactions with others. And rightly so, becoming more sensitive to what is going on around you or going to classes to better learn how to respond in a crisis, is certainly in order; this kind of sensitivity is applauded. After incidences such as these, as the Virginia Beach Police Chief mentioned, “lives have been changed forever.” 

However, what can happen, is what I mentioned above, a person can be impacted in such a way that causes their functionality to be negatively impacted. Often, this is not by choice but rather by the immediate coping mechanisms that begin to operate with trauma / crisis.

The body will immediately engage in a fight, flight, or freeze mode to get through the traumatic incident as it occurs or once they’ve heard about. These responses release chemicals in the body that allows us the energy, rationality or physical or emotional response necessary to handle the moments of trauma / crisis. 

The problem with coping mechanisms is that they are not intended for day to day living. When a person does not or is unable to “process their pain” in a a healthy and appropriate manner, they remain in the fight, flight or freeze mode then other coping mechanisms set in. Initially, it may seem that they or you are “handling” the aftermath of the situation well. However, eventually, inner and/or outer issues may begin to surface. 

Some of these functionality issues or responses to be aware of:

Sleeping too much or unable to sleep

Easily startled 

Loss of appetite or weight gain

Increased agitation 

Irrational responses to situations beyond the scope of the situation at hand

Self neglect

Isolation

Neediness

Physical illness

Mental challenges (including depression, anxiety, PTSD, obsessive compulsive behaviors, etc.)

Psychosis

Addictive behaviors 

Drastic changes in behavior

Unresolved/ complicated grief (deep sadness, hysterical crying, etc.) 

More emotional than usual or more stoic than usual

Suspicious Behaviors

Lack of confidence

Argumentative / demanding  

Neglect of normal responsibilities

Anger / rage

Only to name a few. If any of these responses begin happening to you or a person in your life, whether they be a loved one, friend, coworker or social contact, please do not ignore it! Be willing to humble yourself and talk to someone who cares about you or can find help for you. If it is a loved one, friend, coworker or social contact, friend them in a way to better informally assess them. Talk with them about what you see, if appropriate. Go beyond them, if necessary, by going to someone who has some level of influence or authority in their life. Seek out help! 

Greater problems occur when issues go unaddressed and unattended to. Further problems can be nipped quickly when properly addressed. So again, please, even if it seems that you or they “got this” as we tend to say, at least pursue pastoral and/or professional assistance to be sure. 

My heart grieves for and with all of the families whom lost loved ones, the people who survived the incident, those wounded and those in the hospital struggling for their lives, all of the first responders, as well as the impact upon Virginia Beach and the entire Hampton Roads area of Virginia, as your does also. 

Grief is normal and is a process. It at times can be a long process, especially when due to trauma, such as shootings. We must allow ourselves and others to mourn in healthy ways for as long as needed. This will eventually lead to a healthier person and healthier society. 

The most important thing that we can all do is sincerely pray for them, for us, for yourself,  to process grief in a healthy manner, for eventual healing of our souls, for hope for our future, eventual mental, emotional, and spiritual resolve and a lessening of violent behaviors. 

Even though the question lingers “why?” And we do not understand “how this has happened? We can chose to trust and believe that God does care and that His Word is true, 

“God heals the broken-hearted and binds all their wounds” 

physically, mentally, and emotionally. I pray that we can move forward with love, respect, and care for one another finding ways to be a blessing. 

Roz😊

Rosalind Caldwell Stanley, MA, LPPC
Licensed Professional Pastoral Counselor & Healing of the Soul Ministry (HOSM) Lead Minister & Trainer

ministry4soulhealing.com

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